Lolla '10

Since my return home some 4 years ago it has become an annual tradition to declare "I'm going to Lollapalooza this summer"... and then not make it. Something always comes up and nixes the plan. Last fall however, I made serious plans for Lolla 2010. A now former flame and I swore to make the trip and bask ourselves in three days of musical nirvana. When the lineup was announced in March of this year, collective jaws dropped. Nearly every band that had been exchanged via heartfelt, high school mix CD's was listed to preform. The anticipation of seeing the majority of our favorite bands together in Grant Park reached fever pitch. But life can throw you curve balls, sharp ones, and less than a month before the masses would converge on the Lakeshore of Chicago, I found myself with a pair of weekend passes and no takers.

I debated for weeks whether or not to head up anyway. I'm not one for emotional cutting so the initial response was "hell no". The thought of moving from stage to stage and pausing at each one just long enough for wounds to be torn open again did not appeal to me. But a chance exchange with a family friend changed my mind. I knew if i did go, it would have to be NEW. A fresh experience, with someone I didn't really know. And this friend fit the bill. The decision was made. I was going. Only for Friday, but I wasn't going to let the past affect my present, nor keep me from good music regardless of the recent history that attempted to sour it. I needed to take back the music. Allow it to begin writing a new chapter, regardless of the inherit plagiarism, and begin attaching new, positive memories to the prose and beat of the past.

In the history of decisions, this was one of my finest. After spending an hour early Friday afternoon tracking down a fifth of Jameson to sneak past security, we found ourselves surrounded by the most incredible and varied collection of humans I've seen yet assembled. And the music was absolutely amazing. Mavis Staples, The Big Pink, The New Pornographers, The Dirty Projectors, Hot Chip, The Black Keys, Jimmy Cliff, Lady Gaga (only for 3 songs to see the show i swear), and then The Strokes after dark. It was amazing. And healing. As I think back on it now I should have stayed for the whole weekend, but the experience Friday freed me in a way. And i will remain, as I have always been, indebted to the power of music, for it's ability to shape our lives, to break our hearts, to give us hope, to make us jump up and down and not give a damn about anything, and upon occasion, help us to accept the past and move forward filled with rhythm and grand expectations.

After returning home I picked up my guitar after a 2 month hiatus. It felt great.